okay, so it's been a while. everyone has moved on to tumblr.

including me.
i just looked back on the few blog posts i have on here, and i really was trying to find myself during the period in which i wrote on this blog.
i'm happy to say that i think i did find myself. or at least who i want to be for now.
i feel as though i have something to live for, something to be dedicated to.
because no one will read this, i will just post my tumblr account so that anyone who wants to really know anything about me can read it there.
tumblr: heavenaintcloseinaplacelikethis.tumblr.com
(:

jennalou, where are you?

come back!
i have no idea where you are!
you better come back.
.. or i'll cry.
anyway.. i guess since i haven't made a post in over a month.. i should vent a little.
i downloaded a castle episode off of iTunes and it disappeared.
DISAPPEARED!
i'm P'd O.
because it shouldn't be P O'd.
who gets piss offed?
it's pissed off. right?
of course right.
well...
i just received a new email from my friend. i'm gonna go check it.. out, now-now, to God be the glor-ayy.

inside jokes, frickin' frustration, and shirts that don't fit us anymore.
hey libby ;D

ice cream catastrophe

the funniest thing happened today.
my mom and i went to get ice cream.
and.. my cone started to drip like it's never dripped before.
and.. i got ice cream all over the car seat and seatbelt and myself and my clothes.
and i was trying to get the remainder of the ice cream in my mouth, but it just wouldn't fit and it got all over my face.
it was hilarious.
doesn't sound hilarious.
but it truly was.
my mom was like yelling at me but cracking up.
i'm such a freak.
i miss camp.
i made such good friends there last week.
i wish i could go back.
hopefully i'll see some of them again.
uhhh... i'll recommend some music.

glamorous indie rock and roll - the killers
where the white boys dance - the killers
bigger than my body - john mayer
11-11 - andrew bird
psychotic girl - the black keys

twist ice cream cones, funny album cover art, and made up words,
1!887.

what an odd child i am becoming.

i have finally realized how utterly crazy i am.
but it's okay :)
i've accepted it.
you know what's just as crazy as i am?
the money you could be saving with geico.
just kidding.
um, but i did make a buttload of money babysitting this week.
like over 100 bucks. barely. but still.
that's a big butt.
and i cannot lie.
you know what?
this is the least depressing post i've written so far.
pretty sure.
i must be in a decent mood.
i mean, there's nothing really for me to mad about.
so here's to life.
lechaim.
now i want to watch fiddler on the roof.
anyway.
i'm off to email jenna, i think.

burritos, awesome commercials, and uh, yeah,
me.

my dreams are too big for this "town"

i wish i lived in a tiny town.. where no one would amount to much.
that sounds strange.. but living in chicago, i'm surrounded by successful people and it makes me feel incompetent.
plus, i want broadway.
i need broadway.
i daydream about broadway when people all around me are trying to capture my attention.
broadway is me.
well, that 's a wee bit exaggerated seeing as i'm not all that talented.
but i want to try.
i'll practice.
next year, i want to be ms. hannigan in annie.
but i'm afraid of not getting the part.
ms. hannigan can't have starry eyes like i do.
that's annie.
and by no means am i annie.
so i need to control my eyes.
that sounds so ridiculous.
today we had an hour of school.
and then it was over.
i didn't say bye to everyone i wanted to.
i didn't even see a lot of people.
several realizations came crashing towards me at once.
and you know what?
it sucked.
but my hopes and dreams have to help me through this.
all summer i'll practice..
i want this.
i want people to take me seriously.
and maybe i'll buy some funky clothes.
so people notice me.

whatever.
i'll deal.
urgh.
i don't know what i'm talking about.
-cry me a river-

okay, so...

my school year is practically over!
super happy about that.
today i had a nice conversation with God.
it was pretty one-sided, i must admit.
everyone says "you have to listen to God".. but i'm still figuring out how i would do that :/
so i told him i am sorry for being a sinner.
i've found that it's impossible to not sin, so i gave up on trying.
which sounds horrible.
but if i have dirty thoughts, they are not intentional.
it is the direct effect of public school.
so i don't blame myself.
and i tell God these kind of things.
because i'm sure he can understand.
and i asked him to help me be more... nice?
i may have said polite.
well, either way i tried to explain to him certain situations.
which is pretty ridiculous, by the way, because he knows everything.
so yeah.
it was pretty cool, though.
anyway..
my recommendation for the day is:
MIKA.
he's a singer.
yeah.
i felt it appropriate to recommend him, seeing as i'm listening to him right now..
it wouldn't be right to recommend anyone else.
here are some good songs by him:
basically any of his album "Life In Cartoon Motion".. but here are some great ones...
-Grace Kelly
-Lollipop
-Any Other World
-Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)
and you know.. listen to him.. he has a very fun, likeable sound.


peace and music!

edittt.

i meant nbc, which i realized while watching i'm a celebrity today.
and by the way, i'm super glad spencer & heidi are gone.
but i may miss them.
even though they sicken me.
okay, well...
i might as well... reccomend a song, ya'know?

i'll reccomend a cover..
bette davis eyes - leighton meester
mind you, this isn't her song.
it's a cover.
hence, why i wrote COVER.
yeah.
chicken pot pie and stickers!